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I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable. A hard-on does not count as personal growth. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. Do I look like a fricking people person? I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. If I throw a stick, will you leave? If I want to hear the patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe? See no ev... more.

A woman in Wuhan, capital of Hubei province, was dumbfounded when she received a special express mail containing her driving licence and an IOU her business partner wrote her earlier this week. A thief sent her the express mail, which also contained a handwritten letter that read: "The things that I have sent back to you are useless to me." Fang, the woman, said her bag, which contained all thes... more.

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. – Police say two Florida teenagers are facing charges after 911 dispatchers heard them talking about breaking into cars when one teen's cell phone accidentally called 911 during a heist. Daytona Beach police say 19-year-old Stefanie Vargas and a 13-year-old boy are charged with burglary to a conveyance. Police spokesman Jimmie Flynt says dispatchers listened as the pair disc... more.

Melbourne, Feb 22 (ANI): An Australian moggy that seems to think himself a chicken, took over the job of incubating eggs after they were abandoned by hens. According to the Northern Territory News, Bustopher, a four-year-old tabby belonging to Naomi Oliver, took over after the hens did not show much interest in incubating the eggs. "I am not sure if he knows that he is a cat, he doesn't really b... more.

Dixie, a ten-year-old collie-dalmatian pet dog, is said to have become ill after eating a plastic Homer Simpson toy.  When X-rays were taken, a very clear image of the TV star could be seen in the dog's intestine. The owner, Victoria Keir, 42, of Aberdeen suspects the dog must have eaten a chocolate Kinder Surprise egg with a plastic toy Homer inside. "Dixie must have seen it on the table and ... more.

GREENVILLE, Maine - State officials in Maine say witnesses who reported seeing a drowning snowmobiler on a lake were probably looking at an otter enjoying a snack.  On Thursday, three people reported seeing a snowmobiler wearing all black and a black helmet struggling in Moosehead Lake. Officials used an airboat and flew overhead on both Thursday and Friday, but found no evidence that a person h... more.

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don't drink too much. Then again, don't drink too little. ~Herman "Jackrabbit" Smith-Johannsen Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. ~Ernest Hemingway A hangover is the wrath of grapes. ~Author Unknown I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk. ~John Marcellus Huston If yo... more.

Osama Bin Laden himself decided to send Barack Obama a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Barack opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message: 370HSSV-0773H Barack was baffled, so he e-mailed it to his home secretary and his other trusted aides. They had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at... more.

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't unde... more.