Sing the Batman theme incessantly. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..." If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. Amuse yourself for endless hour... more.

1. Eyeball Tattoo Corneal tattooing is not only possible, but it has been known and done now for over 2,000 years — it became almost commonplace in the late 19th century and into the 20th century to correct defects such as corneal scarring and leucomas. These days, it is done less often because contact lenses are very effective at covering these defects, and prosthetic technology is also ... more.

A) It is "IT". B) It is a Ben & Jerry's Double-Scoop Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice Cream cone. C) It's what we're all searching for. D) It's something we all already have. E) It's something that, in a way, we're all searching for, and we all already have, simultaneously. F) It's something that's always around the corner. When you're 9, it's turning 10; when you're 14, it's turning 16;... more.

Baseball wrong: man with four balls cannot walk. Crowded elevator smell different to midget. Man who fart in church sit in own pew. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. Man who walk through airport turnstyle sideways going to Bangkok. Man who fight with wife all day ... more.

A secondary school teacher made a list of some well known proverbs and gave the class the f irst half of the proverbs, so that they could complete the sayings. Here’s what they came up with: As you make your bed so shall you . . . mess it up. Better to be safe than . . . hit a teacher. You can lead a horse to water but . . . how? Don’t bite the hand that . . . looks... more.

1) Get inside the car and run a jumper wire from the brake switch to the horn, positive side. Use heavy guage wire(12 or better) with crimp hoop type connectors to insure a good connection. This trick will result in the horn honking everytime they step on the brakes. 2) An easy one: Take the distributor cap off and either remove the rotor or pull it off and replace it in another positio... more.

1. Date an older woman. 2. Lose your virginity to an older woman. 3. Have your young and tender heart carved into bite-sized pieces, lightly salted, and chewed by an older woman. 4. Stand up to a bully. 5. Fly in a Learjet. (more...)... more.

The humble headache has had its day as far as excuses to avoid sex are concerned, for now the reigning white lie to snub a romp is 'I'm too tired', says a new survey. (more...)... more.

1. Sometimes we just don't want to talk. Don't take it personally. 2. We notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not mean we're planning to dump you and jump them. 3. Our favorite T-shirts are not "disgraceful." They show our loyalty to our college, our favorite sports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation or number 23. 4. Helpless is not cute. 5. Get t... more.

Are you making dating mistakes that stand in the way of you finding the right person or keeping the right person after finding him/her? Too often people end up ruining their chances with the person they are dating by committing fixable errors. This article discusses ten common dating mistakes, and what you can do to avoid them in the future. (more...)... more.