Men who know how to cook are automatically appealing to most women. If you can prepare a meal for a date early on, it immediately sets you apart from others.
Food is such a natural, sensual thing—for men and women alike—with its different textures and flavors. Depending on what you’re eating, it can be a very hands-on experience, which is good. It’s oral.
Cooking isn’t as difficult as it appears. If you shop well, chances are your meal will be a success. Don’t panic; buy good products.
Be creative, but familiar
My cooking style is Midwestern-driven, based on local, seasonal, sustainable ingredients. I try to be very approachable – familiar, but with a twist. I’ll do something like foie gras bratwurst—diners who may not be familiar with foie gras but who are familiar with bratwurst may want to give this dish a try.
This familiarity will put a woman at ease and will work in your favor. Remember, it all starts with the right ingredients. Women love lobster and oysters. They love strawberries and champagne, as well as caviar and champagne. When you put those combinations in your mouth they complement each other and really stimulate your palate.
Women like vegetables, beautiful fresh greens with a light vinaigrette, chicken, and pasta. (Eighty percent of the pasta we sell at my restaurant is ordered by women.) Mac and cheese with roasted chicken, and goat cheese and fresh rosemary are also winning meals. And always serve a rich, fudgey, chocolate concoction or crème brulee for dessert.
Stay away from big hunks of beef and heavy, rich, cream sauces. You don’t want the person you are cooking for to be so full from dinner that they want to take a nap afterward. You’ll also want to avoid organ meats: sweetbreads, foie gras, kidneys, liver, pork belly, and sausage.
If you do serve meat, I think it’s a good idea to always slice it before serving. It makes a nicer presentation and it’s easier to eat. Always take meat off the bone and remove the head from the fish.
Romance is in the effort
Probably the most romantic dinner I ever cooked for my wife was on the only year we ever closed the restaurant for New Year’s Eve. I got lobsters, clams, crab legs, fresh artichokes, and fingerling potatoes. I made a very refined version of a clambake.
I served it with a citrus butter. We sat on the floor in front of a fire and ate dinner and drank champagne. It was so simple. We ate everything with our hands, and it was wonderful.
An aside for the hopeless
If you’re completely incompetent in the kitchen, go to one of your favorite local restaurants and buy everything from them. You just warm it up, serve it, and look like the star. You can be as honest or dishonest as you wish to be, but I recommend lying. Say you did it all yourself.
Familiarity
Cooking for a spouse is easier than cooking for a date, because you know the person better so there is not as much risk involved. You know their likes and dislikes. So you don’t have to play everything so close to the cuff. But on the other hand, these dinners tend to be less romantic. Conversations tend to be more about work and family matters—it’s harder to escape all that, but the conversation is a lot more honest.
With a date, you’ll know if things have gone well if she’s still there the next morning. In that case, I’m a big fan of poached eggs; I would do an eggs Benedict on a toasted muffin or biscuit with some nice prosciutto. Some fresh-squeezed orange juice. Some French roast coffee. Fresh fruits like pineapples and melons are also perfect for breakfast in bed.
Buying the Right Ingredients
On fish: A lot of people are afraid to cook fish. They don’t know what to look for when buying fish. For some reason, there is less fear that we will buy a bad steak than a bad piece of fish.
Build a relationship with the people who sell you your fish. Learn how to check for good product: Make sure the fish is firm and that it doesn’t smell like ammonia or lemon water. Ask the fishmonger what he likes. It is perfectly acceptable to ask him if you can smell the fish. Press on the flesh gently and make sure it’s firm and elastic. Your fingerprint shouldn’t remain in the flesh.
Always try to buy wild fish over farmed fish. Cook fish at 300 degrees until the internal temperature is 140 degrees. Let it rest a minute and serve. Fish is quicker to cook than meat.
On local product: It’s wise to cook food that is prevalent where you live. As far as seasonal availability, most grocery stores now let you know where the product is from. Look for products that are grown as close to your home as possible. Organic tends to be more seasonally grown and is usually a better product.
Stay away from the huge brands of chicken. Instead, look for the Amish-raised or smaller-run operations. They tend be higher quality.
Food is like anything else; you get what you pay for. If there are two different brands of chicken breasts side by side and one’s $2 a pound more expensive than the other, chances are it’s a better product.
Cheese plate: I look for artisanal cheeses. Strive for variety; serve a cow’s-milk cheese, a goat’s-milk cheese, and a sheep’s-milk cheese.
Vary the levels of pungency from mild to slightly pungent—I wouldn’t go too pungent for a dinner date. Also, mix soft cheeses with semi-soft and firmer ones.
Serve with crostini, crackers, a nice fruit marmalade, and some spicy pecans, along with a nice port. Or, if you are serving French cheeses, pair them with wine from the same region. It seems as if the cheese is deliberately made to go with the wine. I stay away from whites.
It Starts With the Right Equipment
When you’re buying equipment for the home kitchen, buy it as you need it, because it’s better to buy one really nice piece of equipment at a time than to get a low price for a bunch of junk. Take your time and build your collection. It doesn’t matter if everything matches; get goodquality, as you need it.
Make sure you at least have one sharp, high-quality chef’s knife. You can do 90 percent of all home cooking with your chef’s knife. So instead of buying the whole block set of knives, take the money you would spend on the block and buy a good chef’s knife.
Also, if you aren’t good with a sharpening steel, it’s a good idea to get an electric Chef’s Choice sharpener. Run your knife through once a week and it will help keep a sharp blade.
I love the micro-plane zesters for grating hard cheeses and zesting citrus. It’s probably my favorite kitchen gadget. You will also want to buy good-quality pans, such as Calphalon, All-Clad. Get hard anodized aluminum, stainless steel, or copper.
Again, you don’t need every single pan, but get a really nice sauté pan because that’s what you’re going to be using for 80 percent of your cooking.
About the Author: Michael Symon is the chef/owner of Lola Bistro in Cleveland, Ohio. A Culinary Institute of America graduate, he has won numerous awards and his eatery was named one of Gourmet magazine’s top fifty restaurants in America. Symon appears on the Food Network’s Melting Pot show and was one of the chefs featured in The Soul of a Chef by Michael Ruhlman (Penguin, 2001).
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